


It's No Big Surprise You Turned Out This Way

by beautifulnow



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, pre kylo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:20:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23745946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifulnow/pseuds/beautifulnow
Summary: Ben comes to see you before he leaves for good
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader
Kudos: 1





	It's No Big Surprise You Turned Out This Way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [swineflou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/swineflou/gifts).



Harsh knocking at your door woke you up that night, your heart beating rapidly in your chest as you walked to it.

When you opened it you were met with dark teary eyes.

“Ben?” you whispered in surprise, not expecting him. “what’s going on?”

“Y/N..” he raised a shaky hand to your face, caressing your cheek for a moment, dropping his hand back down before you could even process it.

His hair was wet, and unruly his white robes drenched in what you assume was sweat, he looked so terrified, as he spoke.

“I have to go.” he swallowed, a tear threatening to fall any second now, as he looks down. “for good.”

“Ben? What happened?” You asked in confusion. brows furrowing, as you move a hand up to grasp his jaw, so he was looking into your eyes again. You desperately searched for answers in them.

He was terrified.

“Tell me, please.” you pleaded, anxiously, scared of what was to come.

“I-I can’t.” he grabbed your wrist, holding it in place as if he were scared you’d let go.

“I don’t have much time. I only wanted to say goodbye.”

he pulls your hand away from his face, intending to walk away from you, but you stop him before he gets a chance grabbing his arm.

“Where’s Luke? What about the jedi temple?”

He turned to look at you with a range of emotions on his face.

“It’s gone. it’s over. don’t you get it?” he sighs in frustration.

“I never wanted this Y/N..I never..” a loud sob cut him off, unable to finish his sentence as he broke down in your arms, crying into your shoulder, wet droplets soaking you, but you didn’t care as you wrapped your arms around him as tightly as you could.

Tears began streaming down your face, you were so lost in the moment. You knew when Ben was sent to the jedi temple it was the last thing he wanted. You remember that day so clearly, he’d come to say goodbye then too, leaving you with a kiss and a promise to return to you no matter what.

“I know.” despite your confusion you rubbed his back leaving a small kiss on his shoulder, trying to comfort him in any way you could.

“He- Luke tried to kill me.” He says. The distraught sound of his voice, leaving you frozen. You couldn’t believe it. Why would Luke- no, how could Luke do this? To his own nephew? This raised more questions than answers.

“Ben, What exactly happened?”

He holds you tight, not saying a word as he continues crying into you, and you let him, giving him time to process what he would say to you next.

“I don’t know.” he cries out “I was sleeping and he tried to- with his lightsaber.” You could tell he was just as confused as you were, it made you feel terrible thinking about Luke, his uncle whom he trusted, whom leia trusted with her son, would do this while he was in his most vulnerable state. It made you angry, the nasty vengeful type, you couldn’t even begin to imagine what Ben was feeling in that moment.

“I had to get out. I-I fought back. I destroyed it all.” He says his sobs not letting up on him at all. “I have to leave.”

“Wait. Is Luke..?” you couldn’t finish what you wanted to ask, you didn’t have the guts to.

“No..I don’t know.”

“Ben, look at me.” he lifts his head from your shoulder and looks down at you, his teary eyes looking into your own. “This is not your fault. Don’t leave, you can’t.” You begged him, with a shaky voice. You couldn’t bear to see him leave you again. “We can fix this.”

“There’s nothing to fix. I won’t stay. I can’t.”

“Ben.” you sobbed, the tears rushing down your face, you could feel him detaching himself from you, grabbing your arms to loosen your grip on his waist.

“There’s nothing left. I only wanted to say goodbye.”

“but, I love you.” You cry, the pain in your heart becoming very real. It all hurts. His glossy eyes look into yours, as he shakes his head.

“You can’t Y/N.” He moves your arms away from him, determined to walk away for good, as he turns around and begins walking toward his ship which you hadn’t even noticed till that moment.

“BEN!” you shout desperately, refusing to accept him leaving.

He stops walking momentarily, the pain in your voice, making him ache for you.

“I’m not Ben, anymore Y/N..”

You’re overwhelmed with emotion, anger, and sadness, and pain taking over your entire body as you watch him walk away. You can hardly breathe, you can’t make sense of what just happened.

Ben doesn’t turn back to look at you as he walks into his ship, and it’s not till he’s gone and light years away, that you realize he’s gone. Your Ben is truly gone.


End file.
